Time

It's been a long time since I've posted anything new, sorry to keep everyone waiting. The world according to me is ever-changing, the same old bad mixed with the increasing new good. My three beautiful babies are wonderful as always, albeit still challenged by the world of mayhem created by their mother. Both of the big kids' grades are down and there have been issues with all three that I believe relate directly to their parents divorce. The good part is that even with grades lower than they could be, both are still in the upper part of their class. I will not encourage failure based on excuses, my kids are better than that and they will prove it. As I have always said and continue to believe; this is a poor choice, one that was made by their mother but affecting us all . She told me recently that she "loves her man and loves her life." He has moved in with her now which follows the natural progression of things I guess. I wonder how she lives, by her choice, in a situation that nearly everyone around her sees as a joke? Surely she must see it too; I cannot fathom the foolish pride that must be required to live with this day by day. Does he have a job? No. Does he help around the house? No. Maybe the kids like him? Sorry, No there too. He is just exactly the looser that I've described him to be. Parolee, ex-convict, home wrecker, piece of trash puke! I wonder where the mother of my kids went? The woman who once started a very big fight with her own mother for having the children in a car without a car-seat is now ok with this guy picking Ky up from school in a car that doesn't even have seat belts. She justified it as a favor. Everything is all about her; this is the main focus of life.
I was very excited earlier this year, Boo was old enough to start wrestling along with his brother. I signed them up, paid the fees, and we started practice. The boys really enjoyed it and by their first tournament, they were nearly bursting. We got up early, I put their clothes in the dryer to warm them up (a tradition of ours) and we were off to Sturgis. It was a great day and they did exceptionally well with Colt taking 2nd and Collin taking 3rd. Their mother is not a fan of anything that isn't about her so she was as non-participating in this as in most things. I told her that I would handle the expenses and all of the traveling but she wouldn't even take them to practice or let me take them on her nights. There comes a point in a wrestling season that practicing two times a week and wrestling at a tournament every Saturday begins to show and pay off. Unfortunately, my boys only got to practice once a week and go to every-other tournament. The fun has worn off for them and for me to repeatedly go to tournaments only to have their heads shoved into the mat and lose match after match. Our wrestling season for 2007 is over. I pray for strength and understanding; at this point it seems all I can do.

On a higher note, I have met many new people, most notable among them is Kady, we met at my Halloween party and we are still regularly enjoying each others company. I don't know where we are headed and make no assumptions or predictions to you, to her or to anyone else. I do however find myself wondering what's next. I know that I am not going to get married this year or next, I don't know that I'll ever get married to anyone else ever again. But I do find a good many things about her to be a nice match. I guess time will tell. I had a tough day on the 24th of December, Christmas Eve. It was their mothers year to have my kids and I was in a very bad way about it. I had made plans with Kady to go to her brother's house for supper and whatever else that evening. By the time she got to my house to pick me up, I was so down that I almost had her go on without me. Thankfully, I left my house with her and drove us out to the party. It was all so good, my words will not due it justice. I met many of her family and friends, all of whom seemed genuinely glad I was there. We had drinks, then dinner, then played several card and board games. It was a magnificent evening and I went home with a new outlook on life. To make it better, my kids called at 8:30 the next morning and said they had done Santa, had breakfast, and that was all their mother had planned so could they come home? "Of course they could" I said and immediately called Kady and the rest of my family; I told them the kids were coming home and invited them all to come over. The kids were here by 9 and everyone else was her by 10. The tradition continued with a wonderful meal and presents all around. The holiday season is truly my favorite, it was another wonderful year of memories.

My Ky was playing in a soccer tournament in January and broke her foot, it was a shame because she didn't get to play in the final two games and she was sorely missed by her team and coaches. Ky plays soccer, and as she told her middle school coaches as they tried to get her to sign up for other sports, she "only plays soccer." It has been a hard several weeks but yesterday the Doctor cleared her for play. It was interesting when we were at the hospital in Spearfish, Ky and I had gone to X-Ray and when we returned to the exam room, Kady stood there with the phone in her hand and a look of utter disgust on her face. "It's for you" she said. I took the phone from her and said "hello?" It was my kids' mother. She had gotten a call from her sister saying that she saw me carrying Ky out of the gym with a bone sticking out of her leg!!! I assured her that wasn't the case, that she hurt her foot and we were waiting for the doctor to look at the x-rays and let us know. She was mad that I hadn't called her on the way to the hospital. I apologized and explained that I was planning on calling after I got the diagnosis rather than calling once only to have to call again later. My other opinion was that if she really gave a shit, she would have been at the game instead of sitting home with what's his name! This life is the outcome of the choices we make and those choices are based on our priorities. I'm pleased with most of my priorities and the choices I now make because of them. Although I have made many mistakes that I am forever sorry, I have admitted my wrongs and also made my amends many times over. I hope that someday, others will have the courage to do the same.