Where did their Mom go?

I am just finishing another wonderful weekend with my kids. We had a great birthday party yesterday for my daughter, she had 7 guests, plus her 2 brothers, and everyone had a blast. I couldn't stop smiling as I watched them play. Today wasn't quite as much fun for the kids, we did chores around the house, a necessary evil, but still good things for my kids to learn. We went to the mall this afternoon, did some shopping, and stopped at Taco Johns for supper on the way home. I love to spend time with my kids, and even doing housework is fun when they are around. Although I was surrounded by this joy and fun all weekend, I was also filled with terrible heartache as I saw these other parents having parties for their kids. Kid's deserve both parents in their lives, mom and dad, as a married couple. My ex didn't even call the kids this weekend. She finally left a message on our home machine Sunday evening saying how she was thinking of them; I wonder if this was the only time all weekend she had, and, if she was indeed thinking of them, why didn't she call my, or my daughters cell phone? I wish I knew where my kids' mom went, and why.

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Where were You?

Wow 20 years ago today! I was in elementary school watching live TV when the Challenger tragedy occurred. I can remember it as if it were yesterday. This was made even more special this morning as I was watching the news with C, my 7 year old, and getting to explain it to him. I was surprisingly emotional, but hey, this is the stuff memories are made of. Big day today, Kick has her B-day party, and then two more to go to after hers. The boys are having a friend to her party too. Little Billie is a handful, but overall, doing very well. He has only had 5 accidents in the house, this includes the time he spends alone while we are at work and school. Time to get breakfast started. Have a great day, smile at your children, they will be grown before we know it!

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My Song Lyrics

Some people just copy and paste song lyrics. I prefer to know the song and write down relevant words as I hear them. Here are a few from today.


I don’t want to be your downtime
I don’t want to be your stupid game

How many times have I tried to turn this love around?
I don't want to give up, but baby it's time

Honey you can’t hide your lyin’ eyes

I am still dreaming of your face
Hungry and hollow for all the things you took away

You see it all around you, good lovin’ gone bad
Usually it’s too late when you realize what you had

Go and try and shake away this disease

Now that you're gone I can't help myself from wondering
If you'd have come down from your high would we have been all right?

I told you everything I possibly can
There’s nothing left inside of here

Oh yea, Life goes on

I don’t want to be your fall-back crutch anymore
I don’t want to be the bad guy
I’ll walk right out into a brand new day

You’ll find out in the long run

I'm trying to make you see, you're a waste of time for me
I'm not going back to you anymore

I can’t lie
No matter how I try

Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone
(Your name here) the plans they made put an end to you.

There’s only one girl that I will ever love
And that was so many years ago


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Just don't want to Lose it

This is a post that my ex put on her blog. It is more a way to secure my dog as her own, than to apologize to me, but I think it's nice. I want to keep it as a memory that she was capable of good if she had reason enough. Her own selfishness is one of her best reasons, but I'll take what I can get. Thanks Jelly


Friday, January 20, 2006

Doc
I am hoping to get my dog, Doc back this weekend. He was a dog that was purchase by my exhusband and I while we were married. He has been an expensive little dog, with lots of medical issues- he has a very bad leg that required surgary 3 times. It took my exhusband alot of research, hard work and training to make him what he is today- and he is a great little dog because of him. It has been very hard not having him around- when we would go anywhere other than work (but sometimes there too!!) that dog would go. At night- I got him in the habbit of sleeping with me, under the covers- I don't know if he still does this-I have been gone since September, but I loved it. I miss having a dog so much- expecially when the kids are not here.My exhusband is getting a new dog on Sunday. I am hoping that I can have Doc back. He does a great job with animals- and I know the new dog will be a great addition to his life and the kids. I am sorry exmayem, that I ever said anything different.
posted by MsMayhem @ 3:28 PM 0 comments

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A Life Change

So, tomorrow morning, at approximately 6 a.m. I will leave for Cheyenne Wyoming. I am going to pick up the newest member of my family, "Billie." Billie is a dog, to be more specific, a black and tan Rat Terrier, and I can hardly wait. I love animals, especially dogs, horses are a very close second, but I am a dog person. I have had 3 in my life, Golli was my standard poodle that I don't remember life without, then came the Bud man, the best dog known to man. I say this with absolute sincerity, and if there is anyone with question, just ask, there are enough people that visit my blog that can testify to this fact. Then Doc, who is soon to be my ex-wife's Rat Terrier. I love Doc, and am really having a hard time sitting here knowing that everything we do tonight will be the last time we do it together. Doc has had a very interesting life. I decided several years ago, maybe 5 years ago, or more, that the next dog I got would be a Rat Terrier. I looked all over the internet, and finally found a breeder that I really liked. I emailed her, and we just clicked (Tracey Kallas, K2 Rat Terriers) She had a male dog that I really liked, but he was still too young to father puppies. She told me that she would keep my email address, and when/if she decided to breed him, she would contact me. Two years passed, we built a new house, and two days after I got my internet hooked up, she emailed me with news about an upcoming litter fathered by the dog I liked. I told her that I would be interested, and as it turned out, she ended up with a pup for me. Doc is a great little dog, so handsome and well bred. My ex-wife and I met Doc's breeder in Wheatland Wyoming eight weeks later to pick him up. We got him home just before Christmas, and he was a perfect match for our family. When he was just a couple months old, he jumped off our front step, and broke all four of the metacarpal bones in his left front foot. In people, these are the bones in the top of your hand from your wrist to your knuckles. We took him to our vet, who recommended an orthopedic surgeon, who pinned his foot back together. Then he broke a growth plate in his leg, so back to the specialist we go. I believe if I include the purchase price and all of the vet bills, Doc has been a $3500.oo investment. He is worth it, and I would do it again. Anyway, as my ex is leaving me, she says she wants to take Doc. I know that he would be ok with her, and that she needs a good dog, so I agree to let her have him someday. I have never been without a dog, so I will keep him until I can find a replacement. I get in touch with my breeder, and it turns out that she has a litter on the way by a half brother to Doc, and she will put my name on a puppy. So tomorrow I get to meet him. "Billie," named by my kids, after Billie Joe Armstrong, the lead singer of Greenday, their favorite band. I will miss Doc, but like I said, he will be ok, and she needs a dog that I have trained. See ya Doc, I'll miss ya, take care of 'em for me huh. Good Dog!

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Another Weekend With My Kids!

Ok, so the weekend starts with my ex-wife emailing me saying that she wants some of her stuff that she has been storing at my house. I decided that this is a good time to get all of her stuff out of my house. This would include clothes, several dressers, a desk, a china cabinet, a cedar chest, and a barbecue grill. I get off work at 5 Friday, my daughter has a soccer tournament in Spearfish (1 hour away) with her first game Friday evening at 6:20 and she needs to be there 30 minutes early. The rest of her games are Saturday, at 10:10, and 4:10. This will be a great time, along with my daughter's soccer, my son has a wrestling tournament Saturday in Sturgis (half way between here and Spearfish) we need to be on the scales by 7 am, and wrestling starts at 10. This means that I need to get off work at 5, have my daughter in Spearfish by 5:50, get a bunch of stuff out of my house, get my son to Sturgis by 7 on Saturday morning, and then have them both where they need to be at 10. Wow! So it is now 8pm Saturday night, I have a bunch more room in my closet, in my house, and in my garage, my daughter has a medal from her soccer tournament, 2-1, and my son has a ribbon from his wrestling tournament 2-2. How do I do it?!?! I am my kids' dad! Oh, and we got home tonight to a message on the machine from their mother saying "I am just calling to check in, and see how your weekend went, I was sure thinking about you" what a pitty, that this is the best she can do. Anyway, next weekend is more soccer and wrestling, I will go because I always do. I wonder if she will take the kids there, or if I should stop and pick them up on the way?

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A Terrible Person?

So I am a terrible person, at least I am if you hear my wife tell it. I disagree with this judgment one hundred percent, but then, I may be a little bias.

I heard a neat story yesterday, one I hadn't thought about for many years. I had my family over for a little birthday celebration for my two older kids, Ky was 10 on the 6th, and C was 7 on the 9th. We had a great meal, nice conversation, and as we were cleaning up, my daughter sat down with my mom. My mom is a very special woman, she always seems to say the right things at the right times. She is also very emotional, she will often cry when talking about stories like this one, and last night was no exception. My mom starts in telling Ky about ten years ago, and the night she was born. I remember this like it was yesterday. My ex and I walked all around the hospital trying to get her labor to progress. It would, then fade, then peak again. We were in our hospital room, my ex was lying in bed watching TV. It sounded like someone stuck a water balloon with a pin, her water broke, and finally, we were going to have this baby.

Obviously this is one of the best days in my life, becoming a parent has been an incredible blessing. Labor is hard work for a woman (duh) I can only say this as an observer, but it must be incredibly draining. It takes several hours to have the baby, another hour for the doctor to get you put back together, and then you are going to try and sleep in the hospital? It is tough enough with all of the medical staff doing what they do, but then, you have people stopping by to see the new baby too. We had some people stop by, but it became evident that the new mom needed to sleep. Some people just send their baby to the nursery, not me, she was my baby, and she was going to stay with me. So I was torn between letting mom sleep, and holding my baby. I tend to do things my way most of the time, so that's what I did. I simply took the rocking chair out of the room, and set it in front of the door. I sat down, held and rocked my baby while her mom slept. I let the nurses in to check vitals, but other than that, nobody went in that room. If Ky woke up and fussed, I walked her down the hall until she quieted down. My ex got to sleep almost uninterrupted for like 4 or 5 hours, this is not a full night, but being in the hospital, I think it is pretty good.

As I type this I wonder, does this sound like a terrible person to you? Nobody is perfect, I am certainly a long way from it, but I would stack my good deeds against my bad ones any day.

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Truth and Tattoo Stories

I am very into honesty. I don't like lies or the liars that tell them. I guess I am more into the truth than most people because of being lied to so much by my ex-wife. This is a value that I am proud to be instilling in my children. Last Sunday I was cleaning up the house (why does it seem that this is a constant activity here?) and I found a few little pieces of a lotto ticket. Upon seeing this, I was sure that I had won, but would never find enough of the pieces to get my money. My kids are in the kitchen, dining room, and living room all within earshot, so I ask if anyone knows what happened to it? I get a "no" from Ky, a "what is it" from Boo, and nothing from C. It's really no big deal, so I just continue cleaning. After a few minutes, C is standing right behind me, I say "hi buddy" and get no response. I can tell something is on his mind, so I ask him. He looks up at me with tears in his eyes, and says "I did it." You did what? "I cut up your ticket." I got tears in my eyes too, thanked him for telling me, and told him how proud I was that he just came out and said that. The lottery ticket was really no issue, but was a huge life lesson for my son and I. I brought all of my kids together and told them how important telling the truth is, and how it is always better than lying. I know that C will always remember this, and I hope my other two kids will too.

I like tattoos, I got my first one when I was fourteen years old, and have had that same tattoo re-worked four times now. I am really happy with it. I got another tattoo this past year, kind of a tribute to my wife at the time. It was of a cartoon fish from the movie "Shark Tale" that reminded me of her, and shared her name. As I was getting this tattoo, my artist told me that I shouldn't get it because it will curse the marriage. I told him he was full of it, and that I had no worries in that department. He said ok, but that is the myth, if you get the name, picture, or anything to do with your significant other tattooed on you, the relationship is cursed. Oh if I had only known then what I know now! I am certain my divorce has more to do with my ex-wife's instability and misdirection than a tattoo curse, but it is still kind of weird. The question now becomes what to do with a tattoo that I no longer want? Laser tattoo removal? No, too expensive, and I do like tattoos. So a cover-up then? With the size and colors of my fish, I would need a big dark piece to cover it, and this isn't really my style. So what am I to do? Here is where these two paragraphs come together. I am into the truth. My ex-wife is a liar. I need a new tattoo. Lets combine these items and see what we come up with.

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Learning from those who know

"She is white trash, talking on the phone to white trash, and we care Why?"

"So she flipped out again? I don't know what the hell got into her"

"Ten year waste of my time"

These quotes come from three people that know.

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She is Crazy!

So I got home tonight to the not quite famous "msmayhem" in my driveway. She was here to drop off C so I can take him to his wrestling tournament tomorrow.

Pause to learn enough info to follow along.

I had in my posession, a lamp that was her grandma's, not an antique, not an heirloom, just a lamp that she no longer wanted that she had given to us. We have had this lamp for maybe five years, and it has always been in storage. I had it in the garage, where it has been since we moved in to this house. The lamp was sitting on top of some extra matresses that we have. A couple days ago we had a huge wind storm, I opened the garage, and the mattesses blew over, obviously the lamp ended up in pieces.

Back to the story.

I pull in the garage tonight, and see the broken lamp, so I think "I should see if she wants it" I pick up a piece of the lamp, take it out to her, and ask her if she wants the pieces? She freaks out. Says "that was my grandma's, why would you break it?" I didn't even have time to say anything, and my kids start telling her what had happened to it. I then repeat what the kids have said, and ask again " do you want the pieces?" she says no, so I throw the piece of lamp across the driveway. She then pulls the car into reverse, and starts yelling at me "don't send me any more emails". "this is why", "you are crazy" I think to myself "I'm crazy?" then she says "I will bring the kids home tomorrow", "I will bring the kids home tonight", "I will have them home Monday." Ok, one thing I will not do is gamble on my kids' wellbeing. So I step up on the runningboard of the car. I say "hold on, what is going on with the kids?" she says "get off or I will call 911" I step down, and say "fine I am calling them anyway" so we both call 911 , she drives away, and I take C in the house. I talk to the 911 operator, and tell her that my ex is leaving with the kids, and I am unsure of when they are coming home, and that I am worried about their safety. Ten minutes later, I get a call from a police officer that needs to know more of the story. I tell him what I have just said here, and he tells me that he is on his way to her house to make sure the kids are ok.

I talk to C, and apologize for my behavior, and for him having been there to see it. I ask him his feelings on what has just happened; he tells me that he is upset that we called the police on each other. I explained to him that sometimes when grownups can't deal with each other, that we have to get the authorities involved. He asked if mom was going to go to jail? I told him no, we just needed another grownup to help us handle our argument. I helped him get into his jammies, and get into bed, I think he is ok with everything at the moment. I got a call back from the police officer, he said that he had been to her house, and that he felt that the kids were in a safe environment for the evening. I thanked him for his help, and told him goodnight. Then Ky calls, I ask if everything is ok, she says it is a little weird, but is ok. I told her goodnight, talked to Boo and told him goodnight also, I will see them soon.

I honestly believe that this woman has completely lost it! I have no idea what happened tonight, or why. She has a ton of issues that she needs to deal with, I hope that she can find the help that she needs.

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Belle Fourche

Hello all travelers. I am home from my son's wrestling tourney in Belle. 2nd place in the 7&8 year old 65 lb. bracket. Our final match was against the kid that stole our national trophy last year. I was glad that we got to wrestle him, but even more pleased with C's performance. This kid is 4 lbs heavier and a year older; he had C pinned at least 10 times, but he never gave up. We lost on points, but I promise you all that we will get him this year. He only has one move, and I have it on video tape, we will work on it, and by next weekend, we will "put him in the basement." The only thing that would have made this day better is if I had my other two kids with me. Tomorrow is Hot Springs "wrestle the age you are today" tournament, which means that C will wrestle in the 6&under age group. I feel Gold in our future.

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Just a song I hadn't heard in a while

I hope this finds you all well. I picked up my kiddos tonight, went to the tattoo shop to confirmed my reservation, then went to wrestling to pick up singlets and get pictures taken. My son is sooo tough, we didn't have practice, but with all the team there, there is bound to be some wrestling. C started wrestling with a friend of mine's kid, but the kid doesn't like to wrestle with him because he spends so much time on his back. There was another boy there watching, he was older, and a little bigger (perfect practice) so I asked if he wanted to wrestle with my son. He did, and those two wrestled hard for the next ten minutes. C was in street clothes, and by the time he was done, he was wet with sweat, but smiling because he had done so well. The first tournament of the season is this Saturday, and I am excited to see him"wrestle live"

My Gram is in town, we had a nice dinner tonight. She will be here through the weekend, and is looking forward to watching C wrestle. Kick has a friend with the same birthday as her, so she has a party Friday night, and is looking forward to that. Boo wants to "go play with the horses" I have a friend who's family is in the horse business, she said the other day that they are about to start foaling, so I should bring the kids out to see the babies. I made the mistake of telling my kids about this last weekend, so now, everyday they want to go out there. The problem is that there are no foals on the ground yet. They had a set of twins last night, but unfortunately, lost them both this afternoon. I really can't wait to take the kids out there, and get them around that stuff. Some of my best memories growing up are from time spent at the ranch, I hope to let my kids experience horses the way I got to.

I guess that is what is new for today, Thanks for stopping, and please enjoy tomorrow for the beautiful day it will be. Here's the song, I had to change some words, and I left out the repeats.



Well I got a good friend who's got a good life
She's got three perfect children and a real nice husband
But she never seems quite satisfied
I know what's on your mind
But you better think about it before you cross that line
The grass ain't always greener on the other side

What you gonna do
When the new wears off and the old shines through
It ain't really love and it ain't really lust
You ain't anybody anyone's gonna trust
Then what, Where you gonna turn
When you can't turn back for the bridges you've burned

Do what you want,
Do what you wish
It's your life but remember this
There's bound to be some consequences

When you're standin on the brink
Before you jump, you gotta step back and think
There's a price for every promise you don't keep

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New day in a New Year!

I took my kids to lunch today, and wrote my first check for 2006. I was impressed that I didn't write 2005 and have to cross it out, I hope I'm not the only one who does that. So the kids' egg donor came and got them a little bit ago, I miss them already. I look forward to them coming home in 2 days, unless something more important comes up for the ex, and then I will get them back sooner. This happens about half of the time that she has them, so I keep my fingers crossed.

I don't believe that I have shared my latest story about her, so here we go. I sent her an e-mail on Saturday, she sent me one back with some comments and questions. So I sat here and wrote one of those long e-mails, answer all your questions, respond to all your comments, and then some. I talked to her when she called the kids that night, and asked her if she had read the e-mails I had sent her, and asked her to please read them if she got a chance, and get back to me. After getting no return mail, I called her the next afternoon to see why she had not replied. She "had not been around a computer since yesterday morning".....Oops lied about that part. I know that she is a liar, so I give her the opportunity to try again, so you haven't been around a computer at all? "well I have been around one, but I haven't checked my e-mail" so that is what you are going to stick with? "well no, I did check my mail, but was around too many people to respond to yours". So with three chances she can actually come close to telling the truth. Now imagine, this is how it is all the time with her. This is not a life or death question, we are separated with divorce pending, really nothing left to lose, and she still can't tell me the truth. So I have been waiting three days for an e-mail back with answers to my questions, she has posted several times to her blog, but doesn't have time to get back to me. Am I bitter? Hell yes I'm bitter, I hate giving 100 percent, and getting nothing in return. I need to quit giving. Oh well, like she says, don't expect anything from her, and you won't be disappointed.

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New Year's Eve was Wonderful!

Last night was the biggest party night of the year! I know because I had a HUGE party. Acutally, my kids had a huge party. We ended up with 7 kids, smaller than I wanted, until I was cleaning house today. We had muchies, soda, champagne ( sparkling grape juice), and in case you're curious, if you call Papa Johns at 12:30 a.m. on new years eve, they will bring you a pizza. We had party hats, and noise makers, which were used to celebrate the new year in every time zone. I put my boys down at 2a.m. I went to bed at 2:15 and told my daughter on my way by her room, that we needed to be "lights out" by 2:30, I learned today that they finally ended up going to bed at 4. I was so impressed by my youngest son, he is 3, he never even got grumpy last night, just bounced back and forth between the girls' and boys' parties. (he was one of those boys that went to bed at 2) He came upstairs at 5, walked in, turned on my light, and said "I am going potty" to which I always answer "I think that is a great idea" he went in my bathroom, turned on another light, went potty, and came to get in bed with me. He was very umimpressed with the state of my blankets. We like the sheets and covers as close to "hospital tight" as we can get them. By 5 o'clock this morning, I had evadently wrecked the bed a little, he said "can we make the bed so I have my part of the covers?" I love my kids! I love to have parties at my house, I love to have people over for drinks, 1 or 50, a few people or a lot, but honestly, last night was one of the best parties I have ever been a part of. My kids are my whole world, making them happy, makes me happy. I would not trade it for any other new years party I have ever had, and, ask around, I have had some good ones. I wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year, 2006 will be a good one.

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