And a Strings Concert!

Man I wish I was more of a computer guy! I first tried to put this together with my last post, but I couldn't get the rest of the pictures to load, so I figured I would create a completely new post, and I still can't get the pictures loaded! I'll try again later. So I had my beautiful ones this weekend, not as eventful as I would have liked but still a great weekend. Saturday Ky had her all city orchestra concert, she sat 19th chair, which I was extremely pleased with considering there were over 100 violinists at auditions. It was hard doing this without my ex-wife, she sent me an email earlier in the week and made reference to this same concert last year, it made me sad that we bought our tickets separately this year. I guess I can't change it, her choice, not mine. Anyway, Kylee had dress rehearsal Saturday morning, we went for a little while, then I took the boys to breakfast. We went back to the theatre and got Ky picked up after rehearsal and pictures, stopped and got her some breakfast, and went to the movie store. We were just checking out when the biggest movie fan walked in (UA) we had a little visit, and he said he would stop by our house on his way home. We got here and needed to do a little cleaning before movie time, the U showed up and was a huge help with that, thanks again for your help UA. We got our housework done and made popcorn for the movie "The Brothers Grimm" it was a neat show and the kids enjoyed it, then time to get ready for Ky's concert. It was fun for everyone to get dressed up for a night out. We dropped Ky off at the door and the the guys went to get our girl flowers for after her concert, it was neat to have my boys put so much effort into picking out just the right ones for their sister. The concert was wonderful, just as expected, afterwards, we went to Ruby Tuesday's for a late snack. C went to sleep in the booth even though he "wasn't tired" when we got there. We slept in today, got up and had breakfast, then watched our other movie "Sky High" it was cute too. I again got most of the laundry in the house done, we played Boo's new "Dora the Splorer" game (C was the big winner) and just had a lazy Sunday. I got the boys in the bath, books read, and tucked in so Ky and I were all set for this week's episode of "Grey's Anatomy." Turns out that this week was a re-run but was ok because Ky hadn't seen it. Overall it was a great weekend and I look forward to the week ahead, with more time with my kids to come. I'll keep working on the pictures!

X

A Snow Day!

First a snow day! I had an incredible time last weekend, the kids weren't here, but I made the best of it. St. Patricks Day was great, out with friends for supper at Firehouse, then over to Paddy's. Paddy O'Neill's is one of my favorite places to go; I used to love going there with my ex-wife to listen to bands play, I miss that a lot. Oh well, not my choice and it's still a great place, and an Irish guy in an Irish bar on an Irish holiday was fantastic. Of course they had plenty of green beer, but the real highlight was that they had this older guy there playing Irish pub songs. Just him, his guitar, and his super thick Irish accent. Super Cool! The kids came home Sunday night and we had a snow day Monday. The kids wanted to go out and play in the snow, so I got them all bundled up and out the door. I came in, got some laundry in and the dishwasher started, then decided that I better go shovel the driveway and sidewalks yet again. I got my coat on and went out to take care of the ever accumulating snow but decided after finishing one side of the driveway that helping my kids dig a tunnel would be more fun. We got a tunnel dug that was finally big enough for the big kids to crawl through (we had gotten Boo stuck early in the digging process.) I then decided that we should build a snowman. The problem was that the snow was too dry and cold to roll into snow balls. So........What to do? Maybe build a snow fort? Sure! So I went in the garage and got some rubbermaid boxes for block forms and off to fort building we went. The results are in the pictures above, I think it turned out good and we all had a great time during construction. Snow days are wonderful!

Another Wonderful Weekend!

So here we are winding down another weekend with my family, and what a weekend it has been! Friday was pretty slow, picked up the kids, went out to eat with my mom and brother, and came home for bed. Saturday we got up and cleaned house until about 10 and then decided we should go skiing. We got there, and the kids had an afternoon lesson while I spent some time re-acquainting myself with the sport. The kids finished their lessons, and we skied together the rest of the afternoon. As the day draws to a close, we are taking off our gear and they announce over the speaker system that tonight, they will wrap up their music festival with a band from Rapid City, "Corduroy Vinyl." This is one of our best local bands and one of my favorite bands period. I try to go watch them every time they play, and I listen to their CD at home quite frequently. So when my daughter hears this over the loud speaker, she looks at me and says "that's your band, can we go!?!?" I say of course we can go, we get our stuff loaded, and drive down to the other ski lodge. We went in, ordered drinks and dinner, and listened to the band for a couple hours. It was neat to see my kids recognize songs, and see them "rock out." The band quit at 6, so we headed home. On the way, we decided that we had so much fun Saturday that we should go again Sunday. We got up this morning, went to church at 8, then home to get our clothes changed, and off to the mountain again. UA called just as we were walking out the door and said he would like to go with us, so we stopped by and picked him up on our way out of town. It is nice to have another adult along on trips like this, I have learned several times why God made it impossible to create children alone, this was another one of those times. I started out wishing that their mother was with us, but then quickly realized that if she were still here, we probably would have never gone at all. While on this subject I will take you on a trip down memory lane, the one I went on this weekend. Saturday, we went to the mountain on hwy 385, for those not familiar with the area, this is an incredible road, one of the most scenic in the black hills, especially on a motorcycle. We left and went out towards "The Happy Tavern" at Johnson Siding. This took me back to last summer, it was the first out of town ride that my ex-wife ever rode her own motorcycle. It was so cool to follow her and watch her confidence build as we took one curve after another. The next memory mark was a little place called "boondock's" it is just a little place on the side of the road where we used to stop when we were riding around the hills. Next, on up the road to Lead, the last time I was there, we were on our way to a snow-mobile trip. What a great time we had, snow-mobiles all day then back to the hotel for a drink and a soak in the hot tub. So Saturday, we skied all afternoon, then down through Deadwood, where we drove past the hotel where my ex-wife and I stayed last year after my work Christmas party. Down through boulder canyon where I can so vividly remember a motorcycle ride with my brother, I had my wife on the back of my bike. There are a couple places where the road is four lanes wide, and straight for a little while, this is where we play games, and the fun happens. It was a fun little spot, my brother pulled up his shirt as he rode by us, and my wife said "oh hurry and catch him" I did, and she returned the favor. Now just to be truthful here, she had on a tank top with a built in bra, and she left that bra down when her shirt came up. I took this same route home tonight, and asked my brother about it as we were on this same stretch of road. He said he absolutely remembered it, and said it is still a great memory, we just need to remove her from it. We will do this, maybe one motorcycle ride at a time, but we will get it done. So sad really, I wish it hadn't turned out this way, but as I have said before, there are things that I cannot change, she, and this situation are a couple of them. So on to the rest of the ski trip. I can't even explain how cool it is to take my brother and my three children skiing, and have my kids on a chair-lift their second time ever skiing. So COOL! The weather yesterday was absolutely beautiful, sunny with no wind. When my kids were taking ski lessons, I took the big chair lifts to the top of the mountain a couple times. It is absolutely breath-taking, the view, and how far that view goes from one of the highest points in the black hills. Today that was not the case. It was snowing when we got up this morning, still snowing on the way to the mountain, and snowed all day. It wasn't super cold, but it did snow all day, and the wind blew a little on and off all day. The view on top of the mountain today was about 100 feet, but a pretty fair trade to be skiing in 4 to 6 inches fresh powder. If you look at the outdoor pictures, you can tell which 0nes were taken which day. The trip home was not good, almost 2 1/2 hours tonight for a trip that took less than an hour yesterday. It was fine though, the kids got to sleep most of the way home, which is good after the weekend we had, and I got to spend some quality time visiting with my "bro." Thanks UA for all you do, huge once again, I'll put your picture up here first. What a fantastic weekend, and man how I love this time with my kids; these memories will last forever for all of us! So, back to the race tomorrow, my kids will be gone all but two days next week, I hate these weeks, but we will look forward to those two days, and the long week to follow. What will we do next? Hang in there, odds are that two weeks from tonight I will tell another story.

A Monday in my life!

What an incredible day! Yesterday, I went to lunch, did my errands, took care of the puppy, and just as I was getting back to work, my kids’ school called. C had been to the office three times complaining of not feeling good. This third time, he did have a temp, so I took the afternoon off, picked him up, and took him home. We had a movie left from last weekend that we hadn’t watched yet, so we put it in, and both promptly fell asleep on the couch. I had a 15 minute nap, he took almost 3 hours. This was perfect, I got a little time at home to catch up on some more laundry and cleaning, and he woke up and felt 100% better. I had been waiting to take the Christmas lights down until I had good weather and him at home. He helped put them up, and I promised him that I wouldn’t take them down until he was there to help. Yesterday worked perfect! And it being March, it was just about time to get them down. Some people may think this is too long to leave lights up, however, my opinion is that it is much more important to include my kids in our traditions, and if it takes till March for this to work out, then so be it. Next, I have needed a bigger vehicle since MsM left and took with her, my suburban. I let her take it, it was our nicer vehicle, and as her husband, I always made sure she had the better of our two cars. I have done ok with my little car, but with room for 4 and a family of 4, it makes it pretty tight if the kids want to bring a friend. So we went and looked at some new cars. I got home and got the mail, and Ky had a bunch of stuff from a soccer catalog we order from, so we redecorated her room. New posters up, new bedding on that we got last weekend, and then out to make supper. All four of us in the kitchen is a good thing even if there isn’t stuff for everyone to do right at the same time. While I was unloading the dishwasher, I asked C to put the silverware away, he recruited his little brother to help, and it was so neat to hear him teaching him stuff like how to get all the spoons together, and where to put them in the drawer. This is real quality time, nothing super exciting, not big wild fun, but all of us together doing something constructive. So, we got supper done, the clean dishwasher unloaded, then reloaded with dirty, table cleared, and it’s time for jammies. I put the boys in bed, read them a book and tucked them in, and with a “love you, goodnight” from Boo, and a “leave the hall light on” from C, I went upstairs to finish the kitchen and get Ky into bed. I asked her about homework, and she gave me that “deer in the headlights” look. So at 8:15 we start science homework that was due last week. Not a huge project, but important, and very fun to share this time with her. I helped her with a few tough questions, then sat and paid bills at the other end of the table. At one point I looked up and watched her looking back through her book for an answer to a question. She is so perfect, like an angel, and I thought of how I wished her mother was there to share these moments. Just the expressions, and the thoughts that must have been going through her head, beautiful, time that is in my memory now, and gone from the rest of the world forever. I’m glad I was there.

X

I hear a song from time to time......

I hear a song from time to time that really seems to fit that very moment. I like to write my own posts not just copy somebody else's words, but when a song fits well at the time, I will post it. Man I wish this had gone a different way, what a Damn Shame!

I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake

Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist

It seems the only blessing
I have left to my name
Is not knowing what WE COULD HAVE BEEN
What WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN

So...Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
But don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me

And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday you're gonna think of me

Here I sit, it is ok

I sit alone, either every two nights, or every other weekend. I hate that my kids are gone, but I don't mind Ms.M not being here. I miss the physical; the kiss that is better than any other kiss, the body that fits mine like it was painted there. But I do not miss the lies and the games. She took that kiss, that body that I loved so much, stretch marks and all, and gave it to someone else. She had sex with meth-head trash, the same trash as most of her friends have had sex with, I hope she feels very special. I gave my best effort, evidently not good enough, too much wrong. I guess taking her bad against my good doesn't measure up. Too bad really, we had it all. The perfect family to live through anything right? No! Quitting is a much better solution, it reduces responsibility, and allows more time for "her!" How, I wonder, does she live with this? Oh well, her reasons are her reasons, and she is the only one that matters right?

Selfish is the best fit that I can come up with!

X